


Cheering me up (thank you)

by maharetr



Category: Texts From Last Night - Fandom
Genre: Bechdel Test Pass, F/F, Misses Clause Challenge, Recreational Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-22
Updated: 2011-12-22
Packaged: 2017-10-27 19:24:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/299219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maharetr/pseuds/maharetr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Wild flowers grow in the park<br/>Summertime and it melts into dark<br/>Dancing together at night until two<br/>You're cheering me up and I'm thanking you"<br/>-- Cheer me up (thank you) by New Buffalo</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cheering me up (thank you)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [horchata](https://archiveofourown.org/users/horchata/gifts).



"Ladies and gentlespoons!"

Toby stands at the front of the crowd, talking like he's wearing a top hat and coattails, and walking like he's striding around a circus ring entrancing his audience. It's a pretty good look for a guy in jeans and a T-shirt. Nikki tiptoes in to the back of the group, tugging Alex with her, and scopes out a good rock to sit against.

The breeze is a welcome relief through the campground. Nikki toes her shoes off and relishes the cool on her bare arms. It's going to be a good night.

"Welcome to our seventh flight of 2011! For your dining delight this evening, we have delicate shrooms to tempt... well, probably not the taste buds, but to delight your senses and tickle your imaginations!"

A scattered cheer goes up from the rest of the group. Katie steps up beside Toby and begins her spiel.

"For those of you who have not flown with us before," she says, "Listen up! We have some procedures in place for your safety, and the safety of everyone in the immediate and not-so-immediate area." There's a couple of chuckles around the circle at that. Alex glances at Nikki, and Nikki's not sure if the excitement or the nerves are winning in her eyes. Nikki reaches over and squeezes her hand reassuringly.

Katie starts going around with the pouches, and Nikki starts digging in her bag.

"Please place your car keys in the yellow pouch. If you feel at risk of drug-dialing and want to also bequeath us your phone or other communication devices, stick 'em in the blue pouch. Payment for services rendered goes in the green one, obviously."

Nikki digs out her wallet and starts counting enough for both of them. "Hey," Alex murmurs, "It's okay I can --."

"Shh," Nikki says, and grins. "I totally owe you more than that in alcohol. Consider it paying back debt." Alex chuckles, and relents.

Nikki's phone is still in her pocket, but she tosses her keys in with the rest of them. She watches Alex hesitate over her smartphone and then wave the bag on. "I came with Nikki," Alex says when Katie offers the keys bag.

Katie smiles at her. "Welcome," she says. She grins hello to Nikki. "And welcome back. Enjoy yourselves, both of you." There's a hint of a question there. Nikki shakes her head, subtly, but finds herself blushing anyway, damnit. Katie laughs and keeps moving.

Far below at the base of the hill streetlights are starting to flicker on, creating jewel-studded pathways leading towards the glow of the city. Blue-shirted 'flight attendants' are lighting the tiki torches and the mosquito coils, setting the group up, and settling them in for the night. Nikki is settling, too, the stresses of the week falling away as she tilts her head up to look up at the trees. Alex leans back beside her, but she's nervous, and Nikki can feel the faint tension radiating off her. Nikki leans over and breathes in her ear.

"We can totally go if you want. Just signal." They use it at Meghan's shindigs sometimes, when they're trapped in conversations by guys who won't let up. Alex laughs, and her smile this time is far more natural, and she doesn't signal at all. She does bump Nikki's shoulder, and the brief pressure tingles all the way down Nikki's arm. Hell, maybe it's a bad idea for _Nikki_ to be doing this with Alex so close, but...

"We have transport," Toby's saying. "And phones. In the extremely unlikely event of an emergency, we can and will use one or both of these to keep you safe. If you don't want to drive even after you've slept it off, you're welcome to come back in the minibus with Katie or me. If at any point you don't feel okay, or you just want someone to chat with, your flight attendants –" he gestures to his own blue shirt, and the scattering of blue-shirt wearers in the group, "—are keeping our feet on the ground, and will be here to support you however you need. From all of us here at Shroom Airways, enjoy your flight."

There's laughter, and good-natured jeering, and then Katie comes around with the paper bag. Nikki takes a handful.

"About this much," she shows Alex quietly. "They taste just like raw mushroom, it's fine."

Alex considers her own handful of tiny shrooms. "Down the hatch..." she whispers, like they're taking shots, and makes it into a single mouthful. Nikki eats hers more slowly as the last of the light ebbs from the sky.

The drugs don't so much kick in as _slide_ in, slipping and seeping into her. Nikki feels like she's dissolving, but it's all good; she's going home, and she wriggles down the rock to lie back on the grass, stretching her body out on the ground and her bare arms above her head to touch the rock. It's not like she's going to need to breathe once she's absorbed back into the earth, so she takes deep slow breaths, savoring the last of the air. It tastes like apples: slightly tart, slightly sweet and delicious. She's _melting_ , almost all gone into the soil now, but there's something up on the surface and she can't go entirely with it tickling at her. Nikki opens her eyes.

Alex is looking down at her, frowning in concentration. It's Alex's index finger that is gently stroking Nikki’s armpit, as it turns out, and each touch is sending out ripples, and each one is calling her back up out of the earth. Nikki whines in complaint but the earth is solidly below her now. She should be sad about that, but Alex is stroking her _armpit_ and enough of her brain is still processing enough to worry if she smells.

"Your hair,” Alex says ponderously. "It's like fine wool."

Sheep wander across Nikki's mental vision.

"Baaaa?" Nikki asks.

Alex flaps her free hand, as if the word has left a scent.

"No. Well, yes. But like fleece, or lamb's wool. Soft, so soft..." Alex trails off, but her finger keeps tickling, and Nikki isn't complaining at all. "No razors for you," Alex says wonderingly, and giggles.

Nikki's usual grinning response-- _This is what a hairy lesbian feminist looks like_ \--leaps into her mouth. She hadn't noticed it tasted like sweet, sharp shards of toffee before. She curls her tongue around the shards, and the words, carefully. It doesn't seem fair to out herself to the girl who is stroking her armpit, who is leaning over Nikki with wide, innocent eyes. Nikki wants to reach up and stroke Alex's face, but reaching towards Alex feels like it would be reaching through the ages between them. Seven months is far too big a journey for one small hand, and Nikki stays where she is.

"I like it," Nikki says, which is a half-truth, and half-truths taste like peppermint, they're round and smooth and _safe_ and Nikki suddenly wants wash the taste out of her mouth. Alex is staring at her, expression indecipherable. She sighs like a dog settling for a rest and flops down on Nikki's shoulder, and Alex is far too warm and solid and alive for Nikki to start melting again. Nikki sneaks the opportunity to let her head rest against Alex's, closing her eyes and breathing in the smell of her.

When she opens her eyes again there are bubbles floating all around her. She reaches up, wonderingly, and tries to touch one but it floats away from her reach. It's not until she looks around that she figures out what's going on. Bubbles are floating out of people's mouths, a hundred strings of color and shape. Large red ones are rising from Katie's mouth as she talks to a guy grinning on the ground, and green bubbles shoot straight up into the air every time the guy laughs. There are a lot of tiny green, fast-moving bubbles flying around.

Nikki turns her head, mouth half open to say “my god, look,” and wondering what their bubbles are going to look like together, but then she looks properly at Alex lying beside her.

"What's wrong?" Nikki whispers, because Alex looks _stricken_. She's staring up at the sky, and somehow she must be too miserable for bubbles, because the tiny whimpers she's making are colorless, and vanish as Nikki hears them.

"The...the stars," Alex whispers, her voice full of despair.

Nameless fear tightens Nikki's chest. The bubbles are fleeing and she wants them back, but Alex has started to cry, quietly, and the bubbles cannot stand it. Nikki cannot stand it.

"What about the stars? Talk to me." Nikki is more than a little alarmed: they’ve only ever been drunk before, and Alex has never cried drunk. This is a whole new world.

"They _can't_ talk to each other. They're too far apart. They can only send messages and it takes so _long_ and sometimes that's all we can see, their last message, because they're _dead_ by the time the message gets anywhere and oh god, what if they're all dead? Everything's _dead_." Alex is sobbing now, miserably.

"Hey, no, no," Nikki whispers. Her own eyes are stinging sympathetically, but she blinks that away. "Here," she says. "Alex, it's okay. It's okay..."

Nikki tugs Alex around and guides Alex's head to her chest. Nikki has a moment of panic -- what if they _are_ dead? It's going to freak Alex out something chronic -- but Alex presses her ear between Nikki's breasts, and seems to settle. Nikki strokes her hair.

"Feel that?" Nikki asks. Alex is still crying, her tears dampening Nikki's shirt, but she nods. "I'm alive," Nikki says. "You're alive. The trees up there are alive, and the grass is alive and there are whole _worlds_ of bugs and ants and _stuff_ in the grass that we don't even know about, okay? Whole worlds, all alive, all doing their thing."

Alex sniffles, tries to say something, and keeps sobbing, softly, into Nikki's shirt. Nikki keeps stroking her hair, watching as Alex's sobs leave her body as blue smoke and trickle upwards into the sky. She wonders what they taste like. She imagines sadness must taste cold, like icy-ice, but it's too much effort to raise her hand to try and catch any. The world has started to rock, gently, like they're babies in a giant crib, and it's making Nikki sleepy.

"Hey."

It's Toby doing his rounds, and he stops to crouch next to them. _He_ seems to have his sea legs just fine, damn him. Nikki looks over at him and smiles. "Hey," she greets. "You should have lions."

Toby eases himself down until sitting beside her against the rock, looking down at her.

"Lions?" Toby asks with a grin in his voice.

"Yeah, for your circus."

"I'll keep that in mind," he laughs. After a beat, he says, "Your friend seems kinda sad. How's she doing?"

"This is Alex. She thinks everything's..." Nikki hesitates, then turns her head towards Toby. She doesn't want to upset Alex any more than she already is. "D-E-A-D," she whispers. "I told her everything's alive, and it's okay. She's just... processing that." Nikki thinks about that, too. "Alive is a big thing."

"Alive's a big thing," Toby agrees. "Do you think she'd be happier in the cabin?" He asks after a little. "With the lights?"

"Oh. Yes," Nikki says. "That's a good idea."

"Okay," Toby says. "Do you think the both of you can walk?"

Nikki moves her feet experimentally. She makes sure that the thought 'toes! Wiggle!' actually relates to the toes at the end of her feet, and then she shakes Alex's shoulder gently. "We should go to the cabin," Nikki says. Alex looks up, her face tear-streaked, question in her eyes. "It's nicer in the cabin," Nikki says, and Alex nods, so trustingly it nearly breaks Nikki's heart.

Nikki shifts her grip around Alex's shoulders, and pushes firmly up. Toby catches Alex when she overbalances, and somehow they all achieve a reasonably steady upright.

"That's the way," Toby says gently, taking one of Alex's hands. Nikki picks up her shoes, and then reaches for Alex's other hand, and they walk like that, a careful shuffling procession up the path to the cabin as the world sways beneath their feet. Nikki has to concentrate very hard, but manages not to fall over.

"In here," Nikki says, helping Alex over the threshold. "In the living room."

There's someone sitting at the kitchen table on the way past, playing an intense game of cards with one of the blue-shirted flight attendants. In the bathroom someone is giggling and giggling, and the sound makes Nikki smile.

Alex balks at the black curtain covering the living room doorway. "Dark," she says, faintly alarmed. Nikki squeezes her hand. "No, it's okay, here," and she pushes the velvet curtain aside and steps into the room.

" _Oh,_ " Alex breathes. The Christmas lights cover the ceiling, long strands strung across the ceiling beams and hung down the far wall, glowing steadily like much closer stars.

"Oh." Alex says, there are still tears on her cheeks, golden in the light, but her smile is brilliant. "They're close enough together," she says solemnly. "They can talk to each other."

Toby smiles, too. "That's good," he says.

"Can we sit down?" Alex asks, pointing to the piles of pillows and blankets.

"Yes, absolutely. You can always come and sit here." Toby has lost his top-hat aura, and it's gradually being replaced by an actual aura, a lamp-light glow around his edges, brighter than the lights, that makes him look warm. Nikki reaches out and strokes the edges, and he's as radiant to the touch as he looks.

"You're golden," Nikki tells him. She wants to touch his heart, but he gently takes her hand in his as she reaches for his chest.

"Thank you," he says, and squeezes her hand, and his golden rushes into her, makes her gasp and tingle with the heat. "Sit down with Alex. Call Cheryl in from the kitchen if you need anything, okay?"

"Cheryl," Nikki says, and Alex echoes her, and the name hangs there for a moment between them, comfortingly cursive. Nikki sits down, carefully folding her legs. She reaches for a pillow and curls up, her head resting on it. Alex follows suit, putting her own pillow against the edges of Nikki's and lying down. Her breath is close enough to stroke Nikki's cheek.

The world has settled at some point during the walk to the cabin, and the floorboards under the blankets are comfortingly straight. The idea makes her giggle a little. There seems to be many, many more lights than there are strands to hang them, and they're moving far too independently, but that's okay. Nikki watches them for a while, entranced.

"Like Tinkerbell," she realizes. "Lots of Tinkerbells. Clap your hands if you believe!" She claps, and the sound makes green and red sparks fly up, and they dart around among the yellow, dancing.

"I don't," Alex says suddenly. "I don't believe."

Nikki keeps looking up, worriedly, but none of the yellow lights seem offended, so maybe Alex was talking about something other than Tinkerbells. Nikki watches until she's sure the fairies are okay on their own, and rolls onto her side to face Alex.

"What don't you believe in?" Nikki asks.

" _Anything,_ " Alex says. "Anything they say. They're clinging to make believe."

There's a trill of notes from nowhere, from the air. They sound like water playing across wineglasses and Nikki marvels at their beauty. Alex thrashes abruptly, squirming against Nikki and muttering "Fuck. Oh, fuck." The sounds are coming from Alex's pocket, and it's only when Alex fumbles out her phone that Nikki makes the connection.

"I can't," Alex babbles, and thrusts it blindly at Nikki. "Help me. It's my mom." The water is still trilling, but it's an ominous sound now, of water creeping where it doesn't belong. Nikki takes the phone and studies the screen. This isn't her model of phone, but there's a 'decline' button, suitably red, and Nikki carefully extends a finger and presses it.

"There," Nikki says in the sudden silence. "All gone now."

Alex shakes her head. She's curled up, knees to her chin like she's trying to make herself as small as possible and it hurts Nikki to see her like that.

"No. I need to text her."Alex says. "Help me text her." This is possibly Cheryl's domain, she of the non-drugged fingers, of the steady hand and the reasonable judgment, but Alex is looking at Nikki so earnestly that Nikki sits up carefully, cradling Alex's phone in her hands.

She navigates to the text screen and finds _Mom_ in contacts. The blank message screen stares back at her. She takes a deep breath.

"Okay," she says. "Tell me what to say."

Alex nods. "Hi mom, stop."

"What?"

A smile flickers across Alex's face, and she uncurls to pokes Nikki's side. It tickles, and Nikki wants her to do it again. "Like in telegrams, so you knew where to punctuate things."

"Punctuate." Nikki moves her lips, relishing the word and the taste of the hard consonants. "That's a _good_ word."

"Punctuation is _important_ ," Alex pronounces. Nikki rather likes the set of Alex's shoulders when she says that.

"So!" Nikki says. "Hi mom full stop. Capital M?"

Alex nods. She curls up on the cushions, close enough that her body heat radiates against Nikki's side. Nikki keeps a hold of the phone with both hands so she doesn't do something stupid.

"Am at dinner comma food is good stop we're doing Mark's letter -- capital m there too -- straight after stop call you tomorrow morning question mark. End message."

Nikki follows along laboriously, carefully. Dividing her attention between Alex's warmth and her own fingers, never mind the accurate typing... well, she can multitask, damnit. There's something niggling in the back of Nikki's brain, and it's not until she looks at the completed message as it sends that it clicks, and the giggle that bubbles out of her is uncontrollable.

"Mark as if in Mark, Matthew, Luke and John, right? Am I your _Bible study_ date?"

Date is a dangerous word. The second it's out of her mouth, Nikki freezes, keeps her gaze on Alex's phone even if the words have stopped making sense and everything else is focusing inches to her right.

"Wellll," Alex says, "Kinda. You were my date most Friday nights, too, but that was like a youth group date..."

 _Meghan's shindigs_ , Nikki realizes, and a slow grin starts to spread over her face as Alex continues."And this weekend you're my Bible camp date, all weekend... And there's community outreach every second Saturday, except my parents actually check up on that one and see how I'm doing, so I go to that one. They're a good bunch of people, those guys, even if they do want me to start going to their youth group."

Nikki snorts, grinning. Alex has her eyes closed, one hand an inch from Nikki's jeans-clad thigh. Eyes still closed, Alex takes a breath and then says in a rush: "and sometimes, in my head, you came along and we hung out and you were like my date for that." And suddenly the space between them is infinitely fragile.

Nikki carefully adjusts her gaze back to her lap and considers her response.

"What do we do for community outreach?"

Nikki's hand is resting upturned on her thigh. Alex's hand moves into Nikki's field of vision, and they both watch as Alex touches the tip of Nikki's thumb.

"We sorted clothes for the Salvation Army," A touch to her index finger. "And sometimes we serve meals at the homeless shelter, or mow people's lawns, or ...stuff..." Alex's finger drifts across the tips of Nikki's, and Nikki closes her fingers around Alex's, holding on. There's a pulse throbbing there, and Nikki isn't sure whose it is. Their hands are hot and bright and everything around them is cool in comparison. The thought of doing those things, more specifically, those things _with Alex_ , well…

"That sounds like fun, actually," Nikki says, honestly. "But if I'm going to be your Bible date, especially if I'm going to be near people who know their bible trivia, you're going to be the one that's teaching _me_ , here. You up for that?"

Alex looks up, and the hope that radiates from her face makes Nikki catch her breath. Alex's lips part, soundlessly, and Nikki leans in and kisses her.

It's barely a press of lips, but it sends sparks dancing up to meet the other lights and Nikki has no idea if that's the drugs or what, but the thought is enough to pull her back enough to try and focus on Alex's face, to ask if it's okay, but Alex is there first, following her lips, pressing her mouth to Nikki's and the angle is awkward and the world is tilting again, but it's warm and _right there_ and perfect, and Nikki parts her lips --

The vibration up her arm startles the shit out of her. It takes an age to remember that the phone is still in her other hand, and that it's buzzing with a text message. The phone is definitely malevolent – Nikki holds it at arm's reach to decipher a single-word reply of ' _ok_ '.

"It's okay," Nikki reports. She shows Alex the message. "It's okay. I think we can turn it off now." Alex is biting her nails, but she nods. Nikki finds the power button and makes the phone go dark, become a non-threatening shape of plastic and circuitry. Still, Nikki has to make herself put it gently on the floor rather than throw across the room.

There are still many, many lights still dancing around the room, and dancing between them when Nikki looks up at Alex, but everything is slower and quieter. Nikki reaches out and touches Alex's face, cupping Alex's cheek.

 _It's okay_ Nikki says with the stroke of her thumb.

Alex turns her face into the touch, kissing Nikki's palm. _Thank you._

Alex moves and Nikki moves and legs between legs and arms around each other, they fit together just so, Alex's head pillowed on Nikki's chest and Nikki resting on a pillow. Their breathing matches, Nikki's belly expanding as Alex's contracts, and every exhale of Alex's shivers across Nikki's skin, and it's beautiful. They lie together, breathing under the net of stars, marveling at the changing sensations of the slightest shifts in touch, until sleep rises up and gently floats them away.

 _~*~_

Nikki wakes to the familiar lethargy in the cool grey light of dawn, but there's a wholly unfamiliar warm weight pinning her down. Nikki cranes her neck to look down at Alex, and Alex is looking straight back, her green eyes hooded with sleep, but with a tentative grin spreading across her face.

Nikki grins back, just as slowly, and she wants to stay like that forever. But there are things to do; phone calls to make, and keys to retrieve and…

Nikki lets her eyes drift closed, and dozes. She'd raise a middle finger to the world and its responsibilies, but even mentally that's too much effort.

Sometime later, when grey light had become sunlight spilling around the edges of the curtains and the Christmas lights are no longer the bright stars they once were, Alex rolls off her and groans.

"Yeah," Nikki mumbles. "That."

Alex laughs, sounding like it's taking all the effort in the world. She levers herself onto her side and manages to prop herself up on one elbow. "Hey," she smiles, sleepily.

"Hey," Nikki grins.

Sometime after _that_ they lever themselves to their feet and shuffle back through the curtain.

The cabin is still, but there's the sound of snoring coming from the bathroom, and someone is curled up on the kitchen floor, and someone else is sleeping with their head resting on their arms, sitting at the table. It's like the cabin's been gently filled with sleeping gas.

They stand on the steps, breathing in the morning, and Alex presses her hand into Nikki's. They navigate the steps like that, leaning on each other, holding on.

"So," Nikki says as they make their careful way down the path. "If I'm going to be your Bible study partner, this means I should get one, right? First stop, bookstore?"

Alex laughs, and she lets go of Nikki's hand to slide an arm around Nikki's waist, clinging fiercely for a moment. Nikki turns into the embrace, hugging her back. Alex kisses her neck.

"Do you think," Alex says against Nikki's skin, "if they'd notice if we put them in the fiction section while we were there?" It takes a moment for Nikki to process the words. When the giggles hit she can't seem to control them, and suddenly they're cackling together, holding each other up all the way down the hill.


End file.
